Please, Use Your Turn Signals

I have two very simple desires when it comes to commuting to campus. First, I desire not to be killed by a careening car on the freeway. Second, I wish with every teeny tiny fiber of my being for South Lot to be clean, organized and for the wait for the shuttle to be less than five minutes. Alas, since transferring to UNM last spring, I have been caught in near-death experiences on the road more times than I can count and South Lot is routinely littered with glass, dog poo and various unidentifiable objects.

So why is it that Albuquerque drivers are so angry? Is it the green chile? I'm from Seattle, and I've seen my share of rush hour traffic, angry hippies and caffeinated soccer moms acting insane on the roads. But never, ever, have I felt the wrath of such aggressive and dominating drivers until I moved to Albuquerque. For example, just the other morning I was cruising along I-25 south nearing the "safety corridor" that should really be named "narrow stretch of roadway of hell." As usual, I tried my best to slow from 70+ mph to a more reasonable 60. For the record, I am still speeding, as the limit is clearly displayed as 55. But we all know that 60 is the same as 55 in the world of speeding tickets. And as usual, I find the bright headlights of another car pressed up against my bumper, impatient and ready to run me off the road. I must admit, I too would like to speed through this area of highway at 80 mph, but I have seen stealthy police vehicles hidden behind the on-ramp divider, just waiting for such a move. So every morning I try my darnedest to obey the law, and nearly every morning I am met with pure, unadulterated hatred. I have been flipped off, honked at and I've seen the angry faces of drivers behind me screaming at their newest enemy. So what's the deal people? You're not really going to get anywhere any faster by running me off the road. And when that day comes where the police officer IS sitting on the side of the road with the radar gun out, you will secretly thank me for forcing you to slow down. You will...

After my 7 1/2 minute journey from home to school, the horror is nowhere near over. Because I don't get to just drive to school. Oh no. I get to drive to the world's worst designed, worst maintained and slowest park and ride of all time. And to top it all off, I get to pay $117 a year for this fabulous service. It amazes me that for the past 3 semester, I have had a Tuesday/Thursday class at 9:30am. And it amazes me that for the past 3 semesters, I arrive at South Lot at or before 9am, only to watch 2, 3 or if I'm really lucky, 4 shuttles go by before I finally get the chance to elbow my way onto one. Clearly the University knows that throughout the day, there are high-traffic times when additional shuttle are needed. My question is, what are they doing with the thousands of dollars in revenues they bring in every year from parking passes? Couldn't some of this money be used to hire a part time driver? Maybe if we weren't paying our athletic coaches salaries worthy of brain surgeons we would have some extra cash left over for oh, I don't know...filling in the potholes that threaten to destroy my car every time I drive through South Lot? The idea of a park and ride is brilliant, but the execution here at UNM leaves much to be desired.

And it's not just the long waits to get on a shuttle or lack of maintenance of the parking lot that really offends me. It's mostly the fact that last spring my car was broken into in the middle of the day. Where was the yellow-jacketed security guard then? What is the point of paying to park my car in a supposedly monitored parking facility when it's just as likely to get broken into if it were on the street? Beyond security, why does the University allow solicitors to litter our cars with flashy postcards that often feature well-endowed females advertising some sort of club? There should be a law against such blatant disregard for private property. Just like there should be a law that if you change lanes in front of me and cut me off without using your turn signal, I should get to remove one of your fingers.